Supreme Court: 'Loaded Grenade Launchers OK for U.S Citizens'

Writing for the majority, Justice Antonin Scalia said, "It is easier and quicker for people confronting strangers in their homes to operate a grenade launcher with their arms while dialing 911 with their big toe than to simply dial 911." Writing for the minority, Justice Steven Breyer scribbled something about the U.S. going to hell in a hand-basket.

Non-Celebrity Turned Away from Los Angeles Rehab Center

Dick Cheney still seems to be missing...

(If you see him, tell him to call home.)

CBS Nixes "Survivor: The Hamptons" Idea

Explorers Discover Job Opening In Michigan

(Rumored job opening in Ohio proven to be a hoax.)

West African Talking Drum Begs, "Stop hitting me!"